The HEAT

So I'm sitting in my room @ 1.20 am in the morning cuz I can't sleep. I had to take a 2 hours nap while skipping my architecture class this evening due to the unbearable headache. I started feeling nausea at work and it became worse in my architecture class. So I decided to call it off and got out from the class after 15 minutes pretending that I could understand the lecturer. After 3 tablets of Tylenol, a 2 hours nap and some entertainment from my convivial housemates (thanks to them), I'm all awake now. It might be because of the abrupt changes of the weather. Not that I can't stand the heat, it was my fault for not having my breakfast, lunch and medication until later in the evening.
But whylah it's so panas. I really feel like going out and take a walk for some nighty fresh air. But considering it's not safe to walk alone, especially after(my "kene ikut" nightmare) the other day, I decided not to. Ohh, I know that I should be thankful, but what blogs are for? for me to grumble kan?

My current favourite album:


And my current favorite song from this album:

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OVER MY HEAD =)

Tell me what I feel.

The above picture perfectly represents my current state of mind.. or in other words, feeling and emotion. They are all swirling and howling inside me.. I'm not sure what or why, but it just bothers me to the max. Could it be because of the stuff that I did, am doing or planning to do? I've gone through piles of decisions-making mode these past few days and I was never sure if my decisions were right. NONE of them. But, I was never convinced that they were wrong either. Or could it be just because I'm thinking about nonsense too hard? Perhaps, I'm not realizing that I'm pretending about something? Or.. maybe I'm feeling this way because I just knew someone that I love wants me to hate him? (Is it possible anyway?) Somebody.. could you just give me a handful slap on my face??! I want to wake up tomorrow and just start watching the World cup match without having these feelings. Maybe I should stop dwelling.. or thinking or maybe rumbling in this blog. I know.. nobody who's reading this understand what's going on and what I'm trying to say. Interestingly, neither do I as the writer know what I want from writing this. It's just a chunk of my mind that I figured need to be voiced out tonight. Pathethically, I don't have anyone who would understand the situation that I'm in right now. Maybe that's it.. I need someone to share and understand me.. that is my biggest swirls...

silence..

I feel necessary to break the silence in my blog today.. hehe. so it's about a month from my previous post. So obviously you can tell I'm bad at blogging or whatsoever. I have lots to say.. but I rather say it to someone.. or to myself then typing it to a blog. Maybe in the futurelah kot.. I'll be better at it. I'm in the middle of summer interim before my summer classes start next week. I spend the last weekend after finals roadtripping with some of my friends to OREGON. Mostly enjoying the scenery (waterfalls and mountains). It was ok.. but somehow I feel we spend too much time in the car. (nama pon roadtrip).

So the tak semangat to start class but I need to take those classes to graduate. Kalau tak, I actually rather go home to Malaysia and spend some time with my family and come back earlier for my "europe de tour" with Sarah. yupp.. EUROPE in the planning.

Just got back my results form last quarter.. and yep. I never satisfied with them but I'm too lazy to care more bout them. As long as I can graduate.. Few stuff happened to me in the last month, I quit my previos job in Health Sciences Library and got a new position in Suzallo library at their Digital Initiative Department. So, no more... desk hours.. don't have to layan annoyed patrons. I have my own cubicals to do my programming stuff and the best part is I can work from home.. as much as I want as long as the work is done. And the pay is a lot better too.. hehe.

One of my friends is getting married this week and another one got engaged last week. And also one of my friend who got married in Perth last month is doing their nasi minyak this week. Why do I have to miss all of these? ishh.. anway, congrates to all of them and I'm really happy for them. May Allah blessings be with you guys forever. =)

Ok.. think that's all for now. Will update later when I have the mood.. as usual. hehe.