I'll be gone

for a while.. maybe. I'm going for my Europe vacation the day after tomorrow (September 1 st til September 25th) a loong2 vacation. and hopefully to get something out of it..

And that means, I'm not gonna be updating this for a super longg time and I'm actually thinking of quiting the blogging world. we'll see the tahap of my kerajinan after I come back lah.. and if I do quit, I guess I owe my blog motivator a dozen thanks.. hehe. and of course la I owe you a big chocolate cheesecake 'youknowwhoyouare'. and also there are some other ppl out there that makes me keep this for lama lah jugak, bukan senang. hehe

But if i DON'T, i'll be updating stories from my Europe trip, deal? I'd share some stuff.. still. I'm going for some soul searching.. mind winding... or whatever crap sewaktu dengannya. so wish me luck yer? hehe. Whatever it is, I'm on HIATUS.

Before that,

--> Happy Bertunang to Shahida.. (erks, didn't I say so sya?)
--> Happy Belated/Becoming Birthdays to Ajoy, Nana, Nad, Daphne, Is, Alin, Faris, Akbar, Aina, Sarah, and Dido. (erkss.. ramainye in one month pon. sorry if I miss anyone k)

so yeah, a turning point for me to try all the things that I have ever wanted to.. hehe. up and away... weeet. =)

homesick

once in a blue moon, i would feel it. homesick. and now is the peak time for it. the fact that I'm not going back home this year really bothers me especially when I got a not so good news from home today. erm, I've been to the airport twice in the last 24 hours and will be going again later tonight. maybe that does affect me, seeing the airplanes and people travelling all over. or maybe i'm just too bored today. sitting around and not doing anything could be painful sometimes. The only stuff left with me right now after 2 painful 'moving-out' day is a bed and my desktop. Gosh, I hate moving. I'm the only one left without a place still (kene merempat) and don't have anything going on for me. so I don't get to go and kemas2 my 'room to be' or even studying for GRE like some people.. hehe. I just wished my lil bro could teman me like few days ago. oh anywho, yesterday wuz my mom's birthday. Hope everything went well for her in her condition and I do really wish I could be there with her like the last 2 years. hurm.. i think i figured out why I'm so homesick today. This buddy have been temaning me for the last few days. hehe. been watching it puluh2 kali. it's just fun to watch coz I smile everytime. thanks to whoever gave it to me few years back then. I found it in one of my cd archives.

I'm done with Junior yer.

Yerp. I'm done with my Junior yer... or my Third yer. Its the end of my summer quarter and I'm officially a senior now. heheh. One more year before I could give myself a little credit for not doing so well at university when I'm suppose to. erks, I seriously don't care now. something's really not right but nvm... I'm having my 4 weeks vacation now which will be filled with...

-> packing and moving stuff to my new apartment
-> sit and not do anything for about a week (giving my kaki a loong2 rest)
-> Europe de tour for 3 weeks (am looking forward to it for some cuci mata'ing' and brain relaxin)

blerh, im lookin for some new activities to do next yer. I deactivated myself from taekwondo for quite a while coz I feel I'm a lil bit tua to lompat2 and run around now. hehe the truth is i don't like practicing tkd @ my usual place anymore coz they always bug/force me to sign up for some sort of sparing/tournament which i'm so not interested in doing right now. perhaps switchin to 'rowing' or 'kayaking' clubs. I really wish they have some sort of cool 'camping' group around or at the very least I should get to know someone who are really into outdoor activities so that I get to spend some time with them doing not so mundane activities. Im so sick sitting in front of my own computer rite now. *twitching* my eyes all over..

inferiority.

is what i feel. is what i want to ignore. I'm in someone's hair.. gibberish.

I have a huge ego and a huge inferiority complex at the same time.
-- Barry Gibb (source:BrainyQuote)

Lifehouse Craze...

ok. I've been listening to Lifehouse songs whole night long and I thought I'll share it. My jaded head is spinning with all of their songs and hopefully by killing some time here, could lessen the lifehouse swings I'm having right now. Plus I need a break from programming and I'm super bored. so here goes.. Each of these are basically my fav. song from their albums.
enjoy.

1) Breathing - No Name Face

Review: Found this cool video made by Veritas724. A mixed scenes from Pride and Prejudice (A great romantic movie btw). How that girl is soOo into Mr.Darcy hehe.. very interesting.

Vidz:

Lyric:

I'm finding my way back to sanity again Though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there Take a breath and hold on tight Spin around one more time And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace I am hanging on every word you say And even if you don't want to speak tonight That's alright, alright with me 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing Is where I want to be I'm looking past the shadows Of my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify The voices in my head God which one's you? Let me feel one more time What it feels like to feel And break these calluses off me One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say And even if you don't want to speak tonight That's alright, alright with me 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit Outside your door and listen to you breathing Is where I want to be I don't want a thing from you Bet you're tired of me waiting For the scraps to fall Off your table to the ground I just want to be here now 'Cause I am hanging on every word you say And even if you don't want to speak tonight That's alright, alright with me 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing Is where I want to be I am hanging on every word you say And even if you don't want to speak tonight That's alright, alright with me 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing Is where I want to be

2) Out of Breath(Acoustic) - Stanley Climbfall

Review: Apparently, most of their song related to breath are interesting. And from this vidz, I realized Jason Wade isn't bad looking. huhu. Wonder if they will ever come to Seattle. penat tunggu..

Vidz:

Lyric:

I still feel the same though everything has changed the pain it cost now I feel lost inside of my own name but I keep running I am running I keep living for the day that I'm with you that I'm with you the past has left its stain now I feel the shame I'll seize the day if you take away the chains of yesterday but I keep running I am running I keep living for the day that I'm with you and I am waiting I am waiting I keep waiting for the day that I'm with you

a new day the sun is shining seems I'm closer to finding that life is more than where we are no way that I am turning as long as the sun is burning now it seems that all I want is you I still feel the same though everything has changed the pain it cost now I feel lost inside of my own name but I keep running I am running I keep living for the day that I'm with you an I am waiting I am waiting I keep waiting for the day that I'm with you that I'm with you

3) Blind (Lifehouse)

Review: Everytime I listen to this song it reminds me of something really deep. hehe. ntah ape. i just love the lyric tho. sungguh the annoying the parents of the perempuan in the video clip.

Vidz:

Lyric:

I was young but I wasn't naive I watched helpless as he turned around to leave And still I have the pain I have to carry A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried After all this time I never thought we'd be here Never thought we'd be here When my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go I would fall asleep Only in hopes of dreaming That everything would be like is was before But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time I never thought we'd be here Never thought we'd be here When my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go After all this time Would you ever wanna leave it Maybe you could not believe it That my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you will ever know A part of me died when I let you go And I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me dies when I let you go

4) You and Me - Lifehouse

Review: Another great song from the Lifehouse album. thots. =)

Vidz:

Lyric:

What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time 'Cause it's you and me and all the people With nothing to do, nothing to lose And it's you and me and all the people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you All of the things that I want to say Just aren't coming out right I'm tripping on words You get my head spinning I don't know where to go from here 'Cause it's you and me and all the people With nothing to do, nothing to prove And it's you and me and all the people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now I can't quite figure out Everything she does is beautiful n' everything she does is right 'Cause it's you and me and all the people With nothing to do, nothing to lose And it's you and me and all the people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of You and me and all the people With nothing to do, nothing to prove And it's you and me and all the people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you What day is it? And in what month? This clock never seemed so alive.

oh, the post got super long and I'm still bored. now what?

Thwarted in hope, desire, or expectation

Geez, if I could get through to you, kiddo, that depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. Reduction, see? Of all feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile. - Guest Judith

I guess I need that "reduction of feeling" so I'll be less disappointed and have less stuff to think about right now. Maybe feeling"less" is much better.

Late July Itsy Bitsy ..

It's been crazy for the past week. Did some cool and not so cool stuff..lots of things going on tho.
-> Got to babysit Eileen's cute lil' John for a while. He's such a cutie.. Look, Eileen and John =)

-> There was a shooting at Seattle downtown, which killed a women and injured another five. Quite a big deal la kan since it happened at a Jewish Center and the person caught is apparently an angry muslim man bout that Israeli & Lebanon issue. Whylah nak kene tembak, gi protest dahlah. more news...

-> Went to San Juan Island for whale watching. Was a fun trip though it's bit chilly on the ferry. Thanks to Anne for the super cheap tix! ohh, here's some my fav. pics from the trip. Didn't get to take good pictures of the whales (either they're too far or i'm too excited to take picture)

Friday Harbor,San Juan Island is the place where "Free Willy" film was shot, if u still remember that movie.

-> A friend of mine celebrated her 23rd birthday last Sunday (July 30th). So, Happy Birthday Jijoe! A blissful life awaiting for you as you grow older u know.. =)

-> Had to finish my Info 344 class project. Stuff that I waited til the very last minute to finish up. It's a website development class and guess what I did, a blogger template. curik idea Blogger ni lah.. huhu so credits to Blogger.

-> And finally, I'm doing my last minute preparation for my first proposal presentation to an insurance company TOMORROW. ok, butterfly in my stomach. In case you're wondering, it's a project for my business communication class where we have to come up with an IT related industry business startup and have to present our proposals to an insurance company, a bank and a related industry company. We have to pretend as if we're proposing a real business solution and we'll be graded on our ideas and presentation. So the company insurance for tomorrow is just a beginning for a very² painful period of my summer school. erksss. Wish me, Aaron, Lucy and Andrew the best of luck yehh