On my side.

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life..." - The Fray


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How to save a life - The Fray

I do.. I really wish I've known how to save a life but of course.. I don't, and I can't. I could try to stay up all night as that shouldn't be a big of a deal, but when I have nothing much to offer, then what is it that you want. Between you and me, it's been empty for quite a while. It took me 6 years to fill it but somehow along the way, it dissipates into something else. I could try.. maybe. I could try to fill it again but that is never a promise.

Life is tough sometimes. There are a zillion decisions to make, and none of them are easy. There are things you want to do but can't, and things you don't want to do but have to. There are good times and hard times, and days you feel like nobody could ever possibly understand what it's like to be you, and you're definitely right... I could be here if you want to forget about life. but not be part of it as ... I do have my own life.

Some people said it should've been easy, I think about it too much when i'm not suppose to. That I could have pretend like it never happened. I could stay away as far as I want to. Some says I'm a selfish bitch without sympathy. And some says it's the feeling of empathy. Or maybe I want to be nice when I'm not.

I shouldn't be too confuse cuz I should know what I want. But what I want will never happen. It's even out of question. So dear myself, give yourself sometime to think. some more time to ponder and wonder what could and had happened. I'm sure I'll come out of it one day, but this shell of mine is still hard to break, is still there for me to be shallow, so please understand... dear friend.

p/S: I'm going to The Fray concert... =) something to look forward for.. next week.

Laughter is the best medicine

Great outing night. had mexican food @ Agua Verde for dinner. Hype on sugar. dote on donuts n ice cream. (ooh i know the calorie meter watch, but heck) took silly pics. random jokes. more laughters. pause for a movie (Lake House). omg, did we really screamed? walked home. took kad raya from postbox. more silly jokes. phonecall frm friend. contemplating on starting my research paper. but I did started it til my 2 retarded friends came over at 1.15 am. we chatted away @ my place. went out to get some coffee @ UV. more lamebrained stories. more laughters. finally, more retarded pictures.
my energy was completely being sucked by all the face-exercising activities. exhausted, but I cherished the good times. thanks Danielle, Nad, Nina, Creichton, Craig and Jamie.

p/s: Danielle, keep the list updated. =P
Jamie, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. d'oh. Welcome to the club.

Yup²

Ok.. I recovered. Will be updating soon. For now, I'm working on my travel blog. It's not done yet. I'm putting some random pics and thoughts frm all my jalan2 experiences. Well, I kind of make it private so I would invite you guys later.. those I know reading my blog lah. PM me if you care enough to snoop around that blog and I didn't invite you. as long as I know you, of course.. hehe. well it's still not there. so go somewhere else to read firstlah aite? cheers..

All in all, the Europe trip was great. Went to 15 different cities in 7 different countries in 25 days. Tiring but lotsa fun. And BIG thanks to all those people I menumpang with.. I would definitely come back sometime for the 2nd part of my tour.. it's on my TODO list tho.. not sometime near lah obviously and of coz I did went broke after that Europe trip considering the extra 15 kgs I brought back on my backpack the other day. Chocs consumption are always good especially when they are from Switz and Belgium =)

I'm in the midst of my first quarter, being a senior. The only interesting thing is my groupmate from my prev. Software Engineering class and this quarter's Senior capstone project class, is also my TA for my other CS class. How wierder could it be when you know your groupmate is grading you. hmm.. I don't like that at all. I'm also taking the business Human Resource and Management class. Wonder if I could survive that like my Business comm. class. as long as I try to crap really hard, I probably will. anyway, I'm going to have 2 midterms this monday (the first day of raya). so yeay to me.. Ramadhan Mubarak.. and Selamat Hari Raya to all. Maaf Zahir batin aite?. May the year ahead could be fulfilled with something more meaningful for you and me.