Teach me to hate.

I hate the way I talk to you
and the way I cut my hair
I hate the way I drive my car
I hate it when u stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots ; and the way u read my mind
I hate u so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when u lie
I hate it when u make me laugh ; even worse when u make me cry
I hate it that you're not around ; and the fact that u didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate u
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

-10 things I hate about you-

Character

Each of us is meant to have a character all our own,
to be what no other can exactly be,
and do what no other can exactly do.
Unique and vital, I must say..

I was quite taken aback when I found myself in
a set of characteristics that I do not fond of
few weeks ago. That got me into troubles and illness.
Hence, I took a step backward.
Leaving scars and bruises everywhere.
But then, I decided it's not my character to leave
those scars and bruises around.
So I took a different step to try and heal those scars.
which disappointedly had gotten me into a bigger pool of
characters illusion.

Then after all these years that I thought I knew what kind of person
I wanted to be, what characters to hold and settled on...
Now I'm back to square one.

Back to deciding 'should I or shouldn't I' ?
Back to thinking of 'What If' situation..
Back to evaluating 'can I or can't I' do this thing..

Some good friends used to tell me.. I need to change.
I can't be like this forever.. I agreed but I never give in.
Until this special person came along and made me realize how I need to change..
how I had gotten myself into this big problem that I could have cease long time ago.
If only I had listened to all those advices and concerns.. this mud would be easy to swallow.

I'm hoping that it's not too late.. for me to change anything =)

Wait² this blog entry is not suppose to be sad or depressing.
That was what I felt before. But at this moment,
I'm all new and free. My thoughts aren't scribbled with
'what people say or think about me'. like.. I don't care mode..
Anyway, I found this great thoughts of wisdom about character.

It's all about character.
Watch your thoughts;
they become words.
Watch your words;
they become actions.
Watch your actions,
they become habits.
Watch your habits;
they become character.
watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.

-Frank Outlaw

2007

Happy New Year to all. May it brings joy and happiness.