~* aRiNa'S Blog *~

Things in 2007/08

2008-06-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

So here's the compilation as promised and things that I wanted to share. So if interested, feel free to continue

1) I graduated from UW. Finally, after the long struggle for my degree, I made it. I know I whine about it a lot and I know I shouldn't. Tapi selamat la lulus.. hehe. Alhamdulillah. My entire family was here during my graduation day and it was the best day. Though it was raining really bet and I was soaking wet during the ceremony but it was quite an experience.

2) I was offered a job at my dream company, Microsoft as the software engineer. Again, Alhamdulillah.. Things were going smooth for me. I am lucky to not have to go through the pain of being unemployed. < How my office looks like in Microsoft? Pictures to come>

3) Terrible things happened during my last spring quarter in UW. I think only my friends here at UW knew about it and of course my family. But lesson is to be learned. - Be careful of whom you're being friend with, don't trust your friends easily and let them fool you. I agree with this as I suffered almost for a year to learn this lesson.

3) I didn't get my H1B visa so I didn't get to stay in the US to work. So guess what, I am now living in Vancouver, british Columbia, Canada! Which is like 2 hours away from Seattle and I still get to work for Microsoft remotely. It's a great thing. I rebuilt a new life, challenging myself towards new experience and met new friends.

4) I am in a relationship with a dearly friend, Faris. I knew his existance from high school, specifically met and talk to him in INTEC and became friends in UW. Earned his degree and currently working in Seattle :) Yep, friends to something else + a long distance relationship don't usually happen but we're going strong and I love him! Enuf said.

5) I met great friends in Vancouver. So the very cool thing was when I thought I'm going to be all alone and starting a new life, get to know the people God knows what to expect, I met a wonderful new friend whom I knew the first time that I can totally clicked in with her. Kak Erny laa.. sapa lagi. hehe. yep, so she's the person who has been listening to me whining and helping me out through my stay in VanCity.

6) I went to couple places and explored few different places. I'm currently living in downtown Vancouver. Best place ever.. and I love it. There's so much to see and do here in BC and I never regret that I've been deported here. It's a great place for doing my outdoorsy things and you know how I appreciate that right?

7) Celebrated Hari Raya for the first time in Canada and it was awesome. I met new friends (student from UBC) during that time and yes we became friends. Lotsa food and stuff but I always miss the hari Raya in Malaysia. oh and after 5 years, I will finally be able to celebrate my Hari Raya in Malaysia this year. How awesome is that huh?? Jangan jealous :P

-nar- Welcomes you to Vancity

2008-06-14T04:07:00.000-07:00

Selamat Datang! Thought of continuing my blogging activity after taking such a long break. Wow, it's been a while.. almost a year to be exact since I last whine on my blog :0
Anywho, thanks for visiting. I purposely made this so that I'm able to keep my promises at the least for keeping in touch. Yes, I know I'm bad at keeping it up but hey.. multiple attempts should have proven my efforts right? And it's a fact that I'm really lousy at calling people and keeping things up. I'll blame it on the distance ;P So yeszz, lotsa2 things had happened to me for the last 12 months. The good things and the bad ones. The MAJOR thing was that I moved to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! Yep, I'm no longer in the US studying. I graduated and moved up here to work for my dream company. Stay tune as i'll compile this list for you. For now, thank you for still being there friends!

2007-06-16T23:05:00.001-07:00

Urgh, all the fun is almost over. All the laughters and happiness for the past 2 weeks are fading away. damn it. If only I knew this is what I feel when they are around, I swear I'll never let them down.

Packed

2007-05-31T20:57:00.000-07:00

I'm soooooooo packed with things to do right now. It's a week before finals and I'm shifting all my finals to this week so that I can go down to Vegas with my parents. Yezza.. they're here =) The only thing that makes me fly in the air and motivates me to keep on living the nightmares of finals. So, I have 1 take-home final, a paper final, a major project and a final presentation due tomorrow (Friday) before I fly down to Vegas in the evening. *crappp*. It's going to be a super long night and day for me! It almost killed me but thinking of what's awaiting for me, I'll tell myself to keep on moving. And this is my 15 minutes break from my hot-date with the OS filesystems project. It's almost 9 pm and all 45 computers in this lab are occupied and my forkbomb server is crashing. The very good thing is, all these keep me busy so that I have no time to dwell over sadness, or scariness of my future life. Alrite, enuf said, anyone have good suggestions of places to visit in Vegas and San Francisco? My family is going to be here for almost 3 weeks and I have no freaking idea where to bring them. My convocation would be next Saturday, June 9th and I've gotten my cap and gown. The big one is not going to be so much fun but I'm looking forward for my department's convocation. Finally, I'm done spending 4 years living the life of the dead, and it's almost over. oh, can't complaint about that, I might have a scarier life in the future. Never knew what's going to happen to me makes me tumble. 15 minutes up. back to my date!!

Destiny

2007-05-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

Who knows what might happen, right?
People live their life as it is.
I do believe in fate.
And I believe the best thing that could happen to me
had been written.
I know that there's no turning back for me.
I don't know how much I should regret for my mistakes.
And how long should this feeling haunt me.
My life could be changing few days or years from now.
I might be happy and I might not.
I might be successful and I might not.
I might be alive and I might not.
I might have my freedom and I might not.
Whatever happens, I pray so that I can take it.
And live the life that had been written for me.

Special thanks to Izwa for the video. It really made my day today. =)
I'd like to dedicate this song below to everyone I know.
Enjoy the day when the freedom is still yours.

I do Sumo

2007-05-20T05:35:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday was a fun outing day. I attended two events which in return allows me to enjoy free food, gifts and fun activities. So during my department BBQ event, I decided to try what they call sumo wrestle. So I jumped in their sumo suit which is super heavy with another friend to have a real sumo wrestle. We look silly but heck, I don't care. Other people tried it too and it's there for us to have fun right? We (my friend and I) couldn't stop laughing at ourselves and of course the people around us too.. especially the photographer. So in case you're wondering how I look like in those suit, below are some of the pics in chronos...

Nightmares

2007-05-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

They lasts several nights.
They are disturbing.
They made me all nighters.
They changed my sleep pattern.
They let me wonder why.
And made me look for the answer how.
Then I started to think of "what ifs" questions.
Then it started to get ugly.
They reassured me of what I've lost.
They confirmed my mistakes.
Then I know I need to be on my bended knees.
Then I realized,
I need the people I foolishly abandoned.
They just taught me a lot.
And I'm glad it's over.

Sorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.
Ungu -Andai Ku Tahu

Of letting go

2007-05-11T02:50:00.000-07:00

for unix people...

It shouldn't be that hard right? hahaa. kudos to Kameron. I really wish it's that easy tho.. a single line and an enter would definitely do it.

Girls in My Cirlcle =)

2007-05-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

For all my dear girlfriends....

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.

And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends…

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your Mom.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say, "Let's cry together,"Another, "Let's fight together,"
Another, "Let's walk away together." and another, "We'll just hang in there together".

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for late night movies,
Another your crave for starbucks,
Another your passion for music,
Another your place to keep valuable secrets,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself,
Or to remind you of things you've forgotten,
Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
But for many, it's wrapped up in several...
One from 7th grade,
Few from high school,
Several from the college years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, it's going to be your daughters.

Be it 23 minutes or 23 years, I'm glad that I have girlfriends that I can count on.

A weekend in detail...

2007-05-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

This is just another tell-no-point story entry. If not interested, shooooshhh...

The weekend started off interestingly on Friday evening when I was paged to work for emergency. The air condition in our department's server room broke down so most of the servers were overheated. Our main Xerxes server crashed and melted down so me and my boss had to go in to the 95F server room and try to cool off the room. berkipas, meniup semua buat. The worst part was having to bring all the 15 servers out from the room and reconfigure it so that the network is still there. Thank God it was Friday evening so there's not much of annoying phone calls and complaints.

After work, I'm off to join the MaSA bowling. I didn't play since I'm already late but it was nice to see bunch of them playing as a group and had fun. At the same time, we were busy preparing proposal for the midwest game. It's going to be hosted at Northern Illinois University (The Website). I was contemplating if I should go since I would be super busy but someone successfully convinced me to register.. hehe. Back to the weekend... after bowling, we all had dinner together and hang out at (nad's, sarah's, daphne's) apartment.

On Saturday, I spent most of the day in the CS lab working on my OS and INFO project. Honestly, I do find that it's fun to hangout with CS peeps once in a while at the lab. I think they could be very crazy and funny during weekends or after midnight especially when most of us are stressing out about the same thing. Working to configure linux kernel and do basic operating system programming was never fun for me but it's all good. I rather spent time with them to keep me busy then stressing out about silly things. Dart called me in the evening.. we chatted, and somehow she managed to convince me to play soccer for Penn State.. haha,Dart deary, you have to be prepared for the worst player you will be seeing playing for your team. I didn't have the Samura's skills and experience for almost 5 years now. But hell I missed riadah dekat Samura tu..haha. This is also the day that I had the most immature fight with the most immature manusia on earth. ishhh.. not wrestling kinda fight ok, it's more like darjah 3 punya fight. haha.. why? I think because both of us just want to remind ourselves how it's like to be budak2 again. Heck, he deserves it anyway..

And it's now Sunday... spent few hours homeworking, and I really2 can't sit in my room anymore... something bothered me.. so I decided to kacau ppl.. First target, Nad. As usual, she would say OK so we spent some time at sbux, chatting and planning.. hehe. Then when she's off to her group meeting, I wander on the ave trying to find something to look at. Then I decided to do some grocery shopping... heck, I spent a lot. *not a very good sign*. Now I'm back in my room.. and as you can tell, I'm bored to death. Everyone's at the lab but I'm waiting for them to come back so that I could force them to play with my new toy. Oh yes, I bought myself a new toy for the midwest. Check this out...
hahah.. it looks exactly like mine oo except the white stripes are maroon stripes. Do not kutuk as I wouldn't care what you have to say. I'm really in a crazy mood now. Spice girls songs have been blasting in my room for a few days and I've been telling a lot of my ole friends bout the crazy things they never thought I cold have done. haha.. ey don't get scared. I just think the 3 cans of soda and self window shopping drove me to be hyper for a while. wawaweewah.. budak2 lab, cepat balik!

23rd on the 23rd

2007-04-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

Been wanting to write this but took me a while. Been busy with midterms but I have soo much to say.. hehe.

My 23rd birthday was in fact the most fun and funniest birthday bash I ever had. It's also the night that made me realized how ignorant I could be sometime, or blur or tak paham bahasa. heheh. Besides all the major signs given by Aneesa and Is, I still couldn't figure out what's going on until few seconds before Is gave his loud-heartdropping-snap at us (me and Aneesa) which made me jump few inches backward but... it's all good =)

The Signs....

I asked Nad if she wants to go out earlier in the day but she resisted it well by saying that she's busy.. which is not usually the case. She will usually say ok though she's busy. hehe

Aneesa brought me to Salmon house nearby our apartment which is suppose to close at 9pm on Sunday but her reservation is at 9.15pm. I thought maybe I got the closing time wrong or they changed the closing time for Sunday.

Aneesa forgot to bring her camera and insisted that we go back to take them.. Salmon house jer ponn.. is camera that important? haha but I just followed her since we still have few more minutes before our reservation time and our apartment isn't that far anyway.

Is miscalled Aneesa. I asked who, and Aneesa said that Is 'always' miscalled her. Since when? I don't know.. Maybe Is was just bored hehe

We got home, went into the living room and Aneesa's face changed! She said something smells funny but I honestly didn't smell anything.. no wonder lah, they're not there! Of course it's a surprise for Aneesa.. haha

Now Aneesa lost her key, we searched for them upstairs like crazy.. erm Hello? We're already late for our reservation at Salmon House.

Went downstairs.. Aneesa locked the apartment's door. Eh, I thought we're going out??

Saw a giant sandal in front of our apartment's door.. wait, that sandal looks verryy familiar, hmm? (sungguh bijak Is tinggalkan selipar)

I almost figured it out.... but Is came and gave me the sudden strike and the others were in the living room saying 'Happy Birthday'!!! =) Awww, I was so terharu(moved).

For more detailed chronology.. check out Aneesa's blog.

Pictures...

people : Aneesa, Nad, Sarah, Iskandar, Wanlin, Babeng, Daphne, Yuko, Patricia, Me. =)

Notes
I really want to thank them for being so thoughtful and kind.. :)
It wasn't exepcted because our usual routine for the past years were just a nice small get together dinner. So much for projects due next day lah Nad and Sarah! hehe.
It was very nice of them to cook and bought stuff for the event.. and of course, the gifts. THANK YOU dear all..

And not forgetting those who did remembered my birthday.. bought me presents.. took me out for dinner.. sent me birthday cards all the way to the US and gave me birthday wishes be it on Friendster, Facebook, or Emails. I appreciate it all. My 23rd birthday was wonderful and meaningful because of you guys =)

ARINA @ AYIN @ NARFIASKA @ EMMET @ ARROYO

Only Time

2007-04-13T23:26:00.000-07:00

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?
And who can say if your love grows,
As your hearth chose, only time?

Who can say why your heart sights,
As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be ,in your heart?
and who can say when the day sleeps,
and the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart.....

Who can say if your love groves,
As your heart chose, only time?
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?

Who knows? Only time

Monday Medley

2007-04-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

I'm officially sick of reading today.. had a grande starbucks at 2pm and just got back frm bubble tea @ midnite but I'm still not getting the right mood to continue reading.. *sigh*. If reading is not my thing, why do I enjoy the class? If I like the class, why do I hate the readings assignment? hmmm.. I just like the discussion part kot, hear out people ideas.. but not giving out mine.

Nyways, this news worsen my mood when I realized that I only have 50% chance of getting my working visa in the US. The applications were just opened for 2 days and it reached double the quota. AND they'll randomly select half of the applications to be reviewed and that means.. there's 50% chance that my visa application will not be reviewed at all. grrrrr... thank God for the OPT.. at least I can have that one year to work without working visa.

currently listening to...

What I've Done by Linkin Park

Sorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.

In this farewell,
There is no blood,
There is no alibi,
Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousands lies,
So let mercy come and wash away…

**
What I’ve Done,
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I’ve done…

Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty,
So let mercy come,
And wash away…

**

For what I’ve done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving what I’ve done…

**

What I’ve Done,
What I’ve Done,
Forgiving what I’ve done…

Self-Harm

2007-04-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

I received a shocking news today.. I'm feeling disappointed, regret and sorry at the same time for a friend of mine. Why do people self harm? Is it a way of voicing the pain that someone is feeling to the others or is it a choice to satisfy ones unmet needs? WE all lives in a cruel world. Its cruel for a reason, and for a very good reason... to teach you how to be a BETTER person. The more challenges you've gone through.. the more you learn and understand about yourself. What you want to do, where you want to be, whom you want to be friend with..

Why there are no nice people left in the the world?
Because all the nice people are taken advantage of when they try and help people, then they get screwed over and turn bitter just like everyone else. hehe.. no? Get over it.. we shape the world we're living in.

So, my point is.. No matter how hard you have to survive, how big the problem you're facing, how useless you feel about yourself, just know the fact that there are other people out there who feel the same way.. You are not alone. You might not find the comfort that you're looking for.. because the only comfort you can find is within yourself. I'm writing this to remind myself and others, WE decide what is going to happen to us. Though we believe in fate.. we do have some controls over it right?

We could constantly be 'the enemy to ourselveS' or we could 'choose to make peace'.. so think wisely.

You could make someone realize that they are needed if you just take the time to ask them if they are okay. You don't need to spend forever with them just long enough so they know you care. -above

To those who are always there for me, I thank you. To those that I haven't got the chance to show that I care, I'm sorry.. but know this, you are always in my thoughts.

Too much stuff available online..

2007-04-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

I'm Engaged =)

2007-04-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yes. it's true.. the rumors you heard. I've been keeping it for a while cuz I'm giving myself and of course my fiancé some time to learn this. Sorry for not telling you guys earlier.. I'm just waiting for the right time to come. This thing is so big for me.. and you guys know that right? It happens so fast, and I myself could not believe that this is actually already happening to me. I could just see my life is entirely shifting to a new phase in the next few months, for better or worse, no one knows but of course, I'm hoping for the best. So now my life would be so much different. I need to become the so called 'more-polite-behaving' girl tul tak? hehe.. Ramai ni kene jadi tok guru.. damn.

Well.... yes.. there you go another april fool for you fools... hahaha. Cis aku marah ni siapa buat cerita. If I'm engaged, or married, I'll make it public. Especially to those I promised to tell.. and I will not reluctantly react to whatever rumor other people are saying coz I'm just so sick of people believing without asking.

helloo.. I'm not giving up my freedom yet. and if I am, I'm hoping to find a worthy person I can give up to. I have way too much stuff in my head than getting engaged or married. For God sake, I can't even cook for myself and you expect me to cook for some random guy. tolong sikit.. hehe. And for those who are too confuse to know what's going on, you can just ignore this post and pretend you never read it. This post is intended to those who have been calling and messaging me the past few days asking for my respond.

So dear friends, I appreciate your concern but I ask you to trust me that I will not leave you behind if something major happened in my life cause you guys were there to support me all along k?? No more "I heard that... but... because you... and you... is it true? " ok? If it's true.. then no other uncertainties need to be in the fact. thots.

Ask a lot of questions

2007-03-25T13:49:00.001-07:00

The Bottom Line

Today, if you ask lots of questions, you will get good responses. Be bold.

In Detail

If you ask plenty of questions today, you will get some good responses from other people. Your ability to get people talking in interesting new ways is very strong right now -- so take advantage of it, especially if you are going to be in a group social situation. Toss out a provocative question, and see who says what. Get reacquainted with the bolder, more aggressive you. It's been a long time since you've enjoyed this role, hasn't it?

Memory

2007-03-25T00:17:00.000-07:00

All left was the memory of him being happy today,
making stupid jokes to his friends,
eating lotsa food and cakes,
staying up late to watch movies,
and making ppl around him feel as if they are
the most luckiest person on earth..
and I do still cherish those moments
even there's no way I'm ever going to see him again.
may peace be upon him.

Spring Break to Remember

2007-03-24T00:07:00.000-07:00

2 days left.. before the journey of my last 10 weeks in obtaining my college degree. Time flies so fast. I want to graduate and not to graduate at the same time. I'm going to miss the life (as if I have one) as a student.. but, most of all... I would be missing all my mates who were there through thick and thin.

Just these past few days had taught me a lot... those who know what happened, I owe you my life for all the encouragement and support you guys gave to me, thanks.. I guess I'm not gonna be able to smile right now without all of you.

Seriously, this is the most memorable spring break ever, starting off with the death of lucy.. (hamster Is), having to deal with a bitchy prof over at biostat department (work mess), learned that I'm going to be broke for quite sometime (spending mess), the birth of Kristina Izian (congrates acan), fellow classmates marriage(congrates cik Amir Radhi!!), and not least.. learnt my biggest lesson in my entire life. oh, and also congrates Danielle... the future to be architect =)

Things changing, people come and go, making decisions for future is what I scared the most of right now... how would you know you're doing the right job, you're staying at the right place, you're being friend with the right people, and you're married to the right person? scary.. scary..
but I guess it's all written somewhere. I just hope that the past doesn't determine how my future would looks like.. coz if it does, it's going to be ugly...

Kiss YouTube

2007-03-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder how to download those videos on youtube w/o having to use their player?
You can now use kissyoutube.com for that. All you have to do is find the video you want, lookup the address where the video suppose to be, and just add "kiss" in front of youtube.com
ex: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8B-TMAhl6w will become
http://www.kissyoutube.com/watch?v=D8B-TMAhl6w.

Easy enough?? you'll need to save the file as .flv(flash file) and then convert it into other type you want (mp4 for ipod video, avi, etc..) I recommend you to use this free online file conversion at http://media-convert.com/.

Avid youtube surfer,
narfiaska

Melayu

2007-03-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday evening and IM DONE WITH FINALS wooooot!!
So before mengqada' tido for 12 hours tonight, I took some time browsing
youtube (*** as usual lah) and I came across this awesome vidz.
hahaha.. I can't stop smiling throughout the whole video.
Melayu hardcore yg byk masa tul. rajin2

p/s : btw, I think the vid intended for melayu who admits that they are melayu kot.. if you think you're not typical malay or a very different/unique/special melayu then don't bother enjoying it lah kot.

Another finals season.

2007-03-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

Pat your back, scream out loud,
As another season almost end.
My time is near, my time is almost here,
It's just a quarter further,
where I awaited the kind of degree I confer.

But, do I prefer for it to be over???
Consider the pain I'm going through right now,
I definitely am. Stuffing words in my head.
Memorizing facts even when they are lilliputian.
What do I expect when this is over?
What do I gain when I'm out of here?
What will I be when I have the boring 9-5 hour?
I can't even discipline myself for the fixed 15 hours per week.
how would I train myself for 40 hours per week?

Damn it, damn it, damn it.
I can't even discipline myself 18 hours before my final paper,
consider myself now a stuffy-head blogger.
how am I suppose to be discipline for a week dateline later?
*long sigh*

Ok peeps, my finals season is here.
Wish me luck aiteeeee.
I seriously just want it to be over.
cepatla cepatla cepatla

Sorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.
Schwule Mädchen - Fettes Brot

The song that surprisingly gave me the mood to study today.
Way to enjoy my weekend !!!

what I think on wed night

2007-03-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time,
I was white and fragile.
Being sheltered by 2 angels that
always look after me.
I know that it took days and decades before
I actually turned gray.
Some people try to wash me, bleach me...
But I never trust them, so I ran away.
And now after all I can see is
a pitch black, I wonder what've gone wrong.
I used to look down on people
that is now myself. shame on me.

-Lakisha

3.6.07.12.35

2007-03-06T00:26:00.000-08:00

My Current Mood ! ! !

Goodbye!!

2007-03-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

I've been working on this freaking thing for 7 hours straight now and I'm about to complain..

The task is to design a pipelining datapath microprocessor with data hazard, bla bla bla ... And I've been debugging it like crazy... (You don't have to know what that means).

To debug, I need to look and analyze the produced waveform.. which does not make any more sense to me now... It used to, but the 7th hour is crashing me down.

Unfortunately for me the amount of errors that I'm getting is enormously disgusting and I am very very very much sick of it right now. Being blinded by all the numbers and ports makes me feel wanna puke right at it. So, to the beloved lab that's due in the next 1 hour, SELAMAT TINGGAL!!!

Month of Hatred

2007-03-04T01:09:00.000-08:00

I'm just easily annoyed these few days... the past month in particular.
And I made myself few good enemies.
I'm altered. For better or worse? We'll see.

** And why the heck Blogger's spam robot locked my blog??
Does my blog sounds like a spammer? ceh.. google pon nak cr gado dgn aku

original

2007-02-24T12:29:00.000-08:00

This is what we call power cyclist. Memang mat rempit seperti Didi patut tercabar.. heheheh. How the heck they do that??

Ooo and check this out. My fav. solo acoustic guitar artist of the year. Andy McKee
The song is just soo beautiful. Damn it.. youTube consumes so much of my time. This is song is called Rylynn =)

* iffy *

2007-02-19T00:34:00.000-08:00

we are all private disasters.
we are all open-ended questions,
without forms without subjects
and often without direction.
who i am makes me no different
than who you are.
basically we are fighting the same demons.
we are all inside ourselves like secrets
banging against our insides
trying to get out
but when we get out
what will we do with
ourselves?
are we all forever
relegated to the undesired
double standard?
I just wish that I'm impregnable.

Happy Lunar New Year =) . The days had been crawling really slow for me lately. Not like I got anything done before I wanted it to, but I have tons debris of feelings in my innerself that want "these days" to just pass me by before i even realize it so that I could live the life i wanted without regrets... which in a sane mind would think that it is now infeasible... good job Arina.

Teach me to hate.

2007-01-24T09:43:00.000-08:00

I hate the way I talk to you
and the way I cut my hair
I hate the way I drive my car
I hate it when u stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots ; and the way u read my mind
I hate u so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when u lie
I hate it when u make me laugh ; even worse when u make me cry
I hate it that you're not around ; and the fact that u didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate u
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

-10 things I hate about you-

Character

2007-01-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

Each of us is meant to have a character all our own,
to be what no other can exactly be,
and do what no other can exactly do.
Unique and vital, I must say..

I was quite taken aback when I found myself in
a set of characteristics that I do not fond of
few weeks ago. That got me into troubles and illness.
Hence, I took a step backward.
Leaving scars and bruises everywhere.
But then, I decided it's not my character to leave
those scars and bruises around.
So I took a different step to try and heal those scars.
which disappointedly had gotten me into a bigger pool of
characters illusion.

Then after all these years that I thought I knew what kind of person
I wanted to be, what characters to hold and settled on...
Now I'm back to square one.

Back to deciding 'should I or shouldn't I' ?
Back to thinking of 'What If' situation..
Back to evaluating 'can I or can't I' do this thing..

Some good friends used to tell me.. I need to change.
I can't be like this forever.. I agreed but I never give in.
Until this special person came along and made me realize how I need to change..
how I had gotten myself into this big problem that I could have cease long time ago.
If only I had listened to all those advices and concerns.. this mud would be easy to swallow.

I'm hoping that it's not too late.. for me to change anything =)

Wait² this blog entry is not suppose to be sad or depressing.
That was what I felt before. But at this moment,
I'm all new and free. My thoughts aren't scribbled with
'what people say or think about me'. like.. I don't care mode..
Anyway, I found this great thoughts of wisdom about character.

It's all about character.
Watch your thoughts;
they become words.
Watch your words;
they become actions.
Watch your actions,
they become habits.
Watch your habits;
they become character.
watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.

-Frank Outlaw

2007

2007-01-02T02:52:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all. May it brings joy and happiness.

Reason, Season and Lifetime

2006-11-27T03:32:00.000-08:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season
or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you
act accordingly and know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually
to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide
you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may
seem like a godsend and they are. They are there
for the reason you need them to be. Then, without
any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient
time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act
up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up
has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or
learn. They bring you an experience of peace or
make you laugh. They filled your emptiness.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
They could at one time be your enemy, and a friend
some other time. Believe it, it is real...
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid
emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the
lesson, love the person and put what you have
learned to use in all other relationships and areas
of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship
is clairvoyant.

So peeps, thank you for being a part of my life, whether you
were a reason, a season or a lifetime. I appreciate it all =)

On my side.

2006-10-30T14:58:00.000-08:00

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life..." - The Fray

How to save a life - The Fray

I do.. I really wish I've known how to save a life but of course.. I don't, and I can't. I could try to stay up all night as that shouldn't be a big of a deal, but when I have nothing much to offer, then what is it that you want. Between you and me, it's been empty for quite a while. It took me 6 years to fill it but somehow along the way, it dissipates into something else. I could try.. maybe. I could try to fill it again but that is never a promise.

Life is tough sometimes. There are a zillion decisions to make, and none of them are easy. There are things you want to do but can't, and things you don't want to do but have to. There are good times and hard times, and days you feel like nobody could ever possibly understand what it's like to be you, and you're definitely right... I could be here if you want to forget about life. but not be part of it as ... I do have my own life.

Some people said it should've been easy, I think about it too much when i'm not suppose to. That I could have pretend like it never happened. I could stay away as far as I want to. Some says I'm a selfish bitch without sympathy. And some says it's the feeling of empathy. Or maybe I want to be nice when I'm not.

I shouldn't be too confuse cuz I should know what I want. But what I want will never happen. It's even out of question. So dear myself, give yourself sometime to think. some more time to ponder and wonder what could and had happened. I'm sure I'll come out of it one day, but this shell of mine is still hard to break, is still there for me to be shallow, so please understand... dear friend.

p/S: I'm going to The Fray concert... =) something to look forward for.. next week.

Laughter is the best medicine

2006-10-22T03:10:00.000-07:00

Great outing night. had mexican food @ Agua Verde for dinner. Hype on sugar. dote on donuts n ice cream. (ooh i know the calorie meter watch, but heck) took silly pics. random jokes. more laughters. pause for a movie (Lake House). omg, did we really screamed? walked home. took kad raya from postbox. more silly jokes. phonecall frm friend. contemplating on starting my research paper. but I did started it til my 2 retarded friends came over at 1.15 am. we chatted away @ my place. went out to get some coffee @ UV. more lamebrained stories. more laughters. finally, more retarded pictures.
my energy was completely being sucked by all the face-exercising activities. exhausted, but I cherished the good times. thanks Danielle, Nad, Nina, Creichton, Craig and Jamie.

p/s: Danielle, keep the list updated. =P
Jamie, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. d'oh. Welcome to the club.

Yup²

2006-10-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ok.. I recovered. Will be updating soon. For now, I'm working on my travel blog. It's not done yet. I'm putting some random pics and thoughts frm all my jalan2 experiences. Well, I kind of make it private so I would invite you guys later.. those I know reading my blog lah. PM me if you care enough to snoop around that blog and I didn't invite you. as long as I know you, of course.. hehe. well it's still not there. so go somewhere else to read firstlah aite? cheers..

All in all, the Europe trip was great. Went to 15 different cities in 7 different countries in 25 days. Tiring but lotsa fun. And BIG thanks to all those people I menumpang with.. I would definitely come back sometime for the 2nd part of my tour.. it's on my TODO list tho.. not sometime near lah obviously and of coz I did went broke after that Europe trip considering the extra 15 kgs I brought back on my backpack the other day. Chocs consumption are always good especially when they are from Switz and Belgium =)

I'm in the midst of my first quarter, being a senior. The only interesting thing is my groupmate from my prev. Software Engineering class and this quarter's Senior capstone project class, is also my TA for my other CS class. How wierder could it be when you know your groupmate is grading you. hmm.. I don't like that at all. I'm also taking the business Human Resource and Management class. Wonder if I could survive that like my Business comm. class. as long as I try to crap really hard, I probably will. anyway, I'm going to have 2 midterms this monday (the first day of raya). so yeay to me.. Ramadhan Mubarak.. and Selamat Hari Raya to all. Maaf Zahir batin aite?. May the year ahead could be fulfilled with something more meaningful for you and me.

I'll be gone

2006-08-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

for a while.. maybe. I'm going for my Europe vacation the day after tomorrow (September 1 st til September 25th) a loong2 vacation. and hopefully to get something out of it..

And that means, I'm not gonna be updating this for a super longg time and I'm actually thinking of quiting the blogging world. we'll see the tahap of my kerajinan after I come back lah.. and if I do quit, I guess I owe my blog motivator a dozen thanks.. hehe. and of course la I owe you a big chocolate cheesecake 'youknowwhoyouare'. and also there are some other ppl out there that makes me keep this for lama lah jugak, bukan senang. hehe

But if i DON'T, i'll be updating stories from my Europe trip, deal? I'd share some stuff.. still. I'm going for some soul searching.. mind winding... or whatever crap sewaktu dengannya. so wish me luck yer? hehe. Whatever it is, I'm on HIATUS.

Before that,

--> Happy Bertunang to Shahida.. (erks, didn't I say so sya?)
--> Happy Belated/Becoming Birthdays to Ajoy, Nana, Nad, Daphne, Is, Alin, Faris, Akbar, Aina, Sarah, and Dido. (erkss.. ramainye in one month pon. sorry if I miss anyone k)

so yeah, a turning point for me to try all the things that I have ever wanted to.. hehe. up and away... weeet. =)

homesick

2006-08-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

once in a blue moon, i would feel it. homesick. and now is the peak time for it. the fact that I'm not going back home this year really bothers me especially when I got a not so good news from home today. erm, I've been to the airport twice in the last 24 hours and will be going again later tonight. maybe that does affect me, seeing the airplanes and people travelling all over. or maybe i'm just too bored today. sitting around and not doing anything could be painful sometimes. The only stuff left with me right now after 2 painful 'moving-out' day is a bed and my desktop. Gosh, I hate moving. I'm the only one left without a place still (kene merempat) and don't have anything going on for me. so I don't get to go and kemas2 my 'room to be' or even studying for GRE like some people.. hehe. I just wished my lil bro could teman me like few days ago. oh anywho, yesterday wuz my mom's birthday. Hope everything went well for her in her condition and I do really wish I could be there with her like the last 2 years. hurm.. i think i figured out why I'm so homesick today. This buddy have been temaning me for the last few days. hehe. been watching it puluh2 kali. it's just fun to watch coz I smile everytime. thanks to whoever gave it to me few years back then. I found it in one of my cd archives.

I'm done with Junior yer.

2006-08-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

Yerp. I'm done with my Junior yer... or my Third yer. Its the end of my summer quarter and I'm officially a senior now. heheh. One more year before I could give myself a little credit for not doing so well at university when I'm suppose to. erks, I seriously don't care now. something's really not right but nvm... I'm having my 4 weeks vacation now which will be filled with...

-> packing and moving stuff to my new apartment
-> sit and not do anything for about a week (giving my kaki a loong2 rest)
-> Europe de tour for 3 weeks (am looking forward to it for some cuci mata'ing' and brain relaxin)

blerh, im lookin for some new activities to do next yer. I deactivated myself from taekwondo for quite a while coz I feel I'm a lil bit tua to lompat2 and run around now. hehe the truth is i don't like practicing tkd @ my usual place anymore coz they always bug/force me to sign up for some sort of sparing/tournament which i'm so not interested in doing right now. perhaps switchin to 'rowing' or 'kayaking' clubs. I really wish they have some sort of cool 'camping' group around or at the very least I should get to know someone who are really into outdoor activities so that I get to spend some time with them doing not so mundane activities. Im so sick sitting in front of my own computer rite now. *twitching* my eyes all over..

inferiority.

2006-08-12T04:11:00.000-07:00

is what i feel. is what i want to ignore. I'm in someone's hair.. gibberish.

I have a huge ego and a huge inferiority complex at the same time.
-- Barry Gibb (source:BrainyQuote)

Lifehouse Craze...

2006-08-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

ok. I've been listening to Lifehouse songs whole night long and I thought I'll share it. My jaded head is spinning with all of their songs and hopefully by killing some time here, could lessen the lifehouse swings I'm having right now. Plus I need a break from programming and I'm super bored. so here goes.. Each of these are basically my fav. song from their albums.
enjoy.

1) Breathing - No Name Face

Review: Found this cool video made by Veritas724. A mixed scenes from Pride and Prejudice (A great romantic movie btw). How that girl is soOo into Mr.Darcy hehe.. very interesting.

Vidz:

Lyric:

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

2) Out of Breath(Acoustic) - Stanley Climbfall

Review: Apparently, most of their song related to breath are interesting. And from this vidz, I realized Jason Wade isn't bad looking. huhu. Wonder if they will ever come to Seattle. penat tunggu..

Vidz:

Lyric:

I still feel the same
though everything has changed
the pain it cost now
I feel lost inside of my own name

but I keep running
I am running
I keep living for the day that I'm with you
that I'm with you

the past has left its stain
now I feel the shame
I'll seize the day
if you take away
the chains of yesterday

but I keep running
I am running
I keep living for the day that I'm with you
and I am waiting
I am waiting
I keep waiting for the day that I'm with you

a new day
the sun is shining
seems I'm closer to finding
that life is more than where we are
no way that I am turning
as long as the sun is burning
now it seems that all I want is you

I still feel the same
though everything has changed
the pain it cost now
I feel lost inside of my own name

but I keep running
I am running
I keep living for the day that I'm with you
an I am waiting
I am waiting
I keep waiting for the day that I'm with you
that I'm with you

3) Blind (Lifehouse)

Review: Everytime I listen to this song it reminds me of something really deep. hehe. ntah ape. i just love the lyric tho. sungguh the annoying the parents of the perempuan in the video clip.

Vidz:

Lyric:

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

4) You and Me - Lifehouse

Review: Another great song from the Lifehouse album. thots. =)

Vidz:

Lyric:

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You get my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
n' everything she does is right

'Cause it's you and me and all the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive.

oh, the post got super long and I'm still bored. now what?

Thwarted in hope, desire, or expectation

2006-08-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

Geez, if I could get through to you, kiddo, that depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. Reduction, see? Of all feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile. - Guest Judith

I guess I need that "reduction of feeling" so I'll be less disappointed and have less stuff to think about right now. Maybe feeling"less" is much better.

Late July Itsy Bitsy ..

2006-08-03T17:51:00.000-07:00

It's been crazy for the past week. Did some cool and not so cool stuff..lots of things going on tho.
-> Got to babysit Eileen's cute lil' John for a while. He's such a cutie.. Look, Eileen and John =)

-> There was a shooting at Seattle downtown, which killed a women and injured another five. Quite a big deal la kan since it happened at a Jewish Center and the person caught is apparently an angry muslim man bout that Israeli & Lebanon issue. Whylah nak kene tembak, gi protest dahlah. more news...

-> Went to San Juan Island for whale watching. Was a fun trip though it's bit chilly on the ferry. Thanks to Anne for the super cheap tix! ohh, here's some my fav. pics from the trip. Didn't get to take good pictures of the whales (either they're too far or i'm too excited to take picture)

Friday Harbor,San Juan Island is the place where "Free Willy" film was shot, if u still remember that movie.

-> A friend of mine celebrated her 23rd birthday last Sunday (July 30th). So, Happy Birthday Jijoe! A blissful life awaiting for you as you grow older u know.. =)

-> Had to finish my Info 344 class project. Stuff that I waited til the very last minute to finish up. It's a website development class and guess what I did, a blogger template. curik idea Blogger ni lah.. huhu so credits to Blogger.

-> And finally, I'm doing my last minute preparation for my first proposal presentation to an insurance company TOMORROW. ok, butterfly in my stomach. In case you're wondering, it's a project for my business communication class where we have to come up with an IT related industry business startup and have to present our proposals to an insurance company, a bank and a related industry company. We have to pretend as if we're proposing a real business solution and we'll be graded on our ideas and presentation. So the company insurance for tomorrow is just a beginning for a very² painful period of my summer school. erksss. Wish me, Aaron, Lucy and Andrew the best of luck yehh

hacker wannabe & google gadgets

2006-07-26T05:07:00.000-07:00

Spending time in front of the computer is considered worthless if you don't really know what you're doing and didn't see the result. But we do it anyway, surfing the internet like we can chunk every info available from webster. Best part, some people use the internet to stalk and to show off their hacking skills. Oh come on, art not thou ppl know there are always other ways to go around and beyond each of his/her "whatever" skills. You can never tell who is the best at computer hacking or programming. Even Bill Gates or Paul Allen never admits that. (do u seriously think they're good at programming? erkss..) Back to stalking, someone was really trying to get on my nerves by taking over my yahoo account. What was that for? it's just an account.. you can't really do anything with it pon!! However, in less than 24 hrs, I managed to get the account back with the help of a friend whose name need to be classified for privacy and safety reason.. hehe. So serves you right "stoopid hacker wannabe". Lain kali belajar ilmu sampai habis yer. I know what you're using, it's not that trojan horse. Ok, stop pissing that person off with his loss.

Look at what I did to my desktop.. huhu

I think google already made its released on desktop gadgets yesterday. I had this gadgets sitting on my desktop for a few days now since I am helping out with their BETA trial version of google gadgets. Its sort of mac desktop version except that it has less features and less cool available gadgets to choose from. I bet they're going to have a whole lot of new widgets when they make this software public and the source code available for open source. I'm trying to configure the sudoku code so that it can play for me after time out. (cheating lah in a way). So, in case you are wondering what gadgets I've been storing on my desktop. Clockwise from top left are Quran citation, Seattle weather snow globe, a music player, calender, horoscope, calculator, flower pot (it actually grows and you kind of have to take care of it by watering it), system monitor (to see how much space and memory these gadgets took off from my comp), sudoku player and lastly a wireless tracker. Some hidden widgets are gmail notifier, and google programmer source code live updates. So far so good, they've been constantly taking only around 5% of my memory the last few days and is getting lower. Im sure they are good enough for release. So in case you are interested to help them out with the trial version, check this out. You can also contribute your own created widget to google and they will surely publish it if its good enough =P My only concern is, how secure is it for me to have them sitting on my desktop? Google could be chugging all infos I have or doing some experimenting on me like how my browsing behavior is. Not that I have something big going on.. but I wonder.

blablabla.. think this post is really loooong. see, how much more time do I need to waste? remind me why I'm blogging again? I DON'T know. it's just that I'm always get bored at 5 am in the morning.

When things happen ...

2006-07-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

I always say to myself, they happen for a reason... a good one. But when I can't solaced myself with that, I'll turn to someone that can. Fortunately, I have a lot of them here with me.. and I have someone who totally understand me and I'm thankful for that. At the same time, I want to be the comfort for others... to my friend who really feels the lost. Some people is suffering more than I do and they don't deserve that. Sometime I wish life would be seen as fair as it is. I know life is fair.. I'm not blaming on it. I envy those who could greatly withstand the pain they are tested with. For that, I thank Him for giving me and the others the strength. ok, back to architecture studying.. final in 5 hours. ohh can't wait for it to be over. I'll have monday and wednesday off for the rest of the summer. phewww...

I posted "Tell me what I feel" entry the other day when I sounded all bummed up. A friend of mine suggested this song. Didn't like it at first but now I'm stuck with it. Oh, it's not an english song.

Sorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.
2 DSD-Peterpan

How could I put an end to my crudeness??

2006-07-15T02:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever really give a deep thought about what goes on in another person's mind? And I mean you seriously think about it, analyzed their every move, de-constructed each molecule of their being, trying desperately to unlock the door and receive a sudden rush of understanding, simply to feel that you probably know them, but instead you find yourself even more confused and uncertain about their intent? Lately, this has been bothering me. You think you know someone, you think you have THEM figured out down to their DNA, and then they completely throw you off guard and become something unexpected, something different.

It's so strange but so nice. To find that just when you think you've seen everything another has to offer, you find that you haven't even seen the tip of the iceberg. And I can't wait until I finally do. Life is so questionable; almost everything related to it; I’ve learned my lessons for so many times but I’m still deludable. I just wish I’ll be off the hook sooner and are able to be on more of the complaisant side, but that will never happen. you know..you can never feel "ok" when you know something is really wrong. The thing that really bothers me is "I could never tell when I'm certain or when I'm trying to be certain. And I hurt too many nice poeple because of that". How could I put an end to my crudeness??

BlueDot.

2006-07-09T02:58:00.000-07:00

DotThis! Bluedot is a new cool application that I'm using on the web right now. If you're an avid web surfer like me, you might find this interesting. Bluedot is a social bookmarking (kind of Friendster, MySpace and Facebook)website service. But unlike the normal social networking websites, Bluedot is not where you can leave other ppl fancy testimonials, write them tones of messages and bulletins, and stalk their pictures, it's where you can share what you enjoy on the internet. I just like the idea of sharing your bookmarks with your friends. Basically, it'll help you to spend more time on the internet, browsing what other people find interesting.. (as if I didn't spend enough time in front of the computer lah kan). Since I promised Nikki (a friend who is now working @ BlueDot) to promote it, so here goes...

I've been helping BlueDot through its Beta development process. I registered through an invitation and gave them my usability testing feedback. Wuz one of the first 100 ppl registered tho. Honestly, I wasn't very convinced that BlueDot is a cool thing that I want to get involved in. But since it's a Seattle based startup company, and it involves some of my CS fellows here at univ. of wash. I thought I'll give them my support.. hehe. They didn't have a very applicable and convenient dotting system at first, but now.. they've made such a big improvement to the system and algorithm and I'm just in love with it. So check them out. I think they officially went public last week at Gnomedex conference so you can now just sign-up without any invitation. How it works? Simply, you can put a DotThis! button at your toolbar, click it whenever you think you want to share a particular website with your friend.. and add it. It'll appear at your personal Bluedot. You can also browse what other people dotted on the internet. More Specific information about the BlueDot features can be found here. And check out their blog too. If you've registered, share your bookmarks with ME here. After few days launched to public, from 100, they now have around 3000 people dotting @ BlueDot. Ouh yeah, and if you notice, I have flash updates on what I recently dotted for Bluedot at the bottom part of the right side on this blog. Disregard of whatever issues they are dealing with, they managed to make it happen on time as planned. Way to go Nikki and congrates!
--ARINA

The July 4th.

2006-07-06T17:44:00.000-07:00

You won't be able to view this post properly if you're using upgraded IE released last April because of their stupid control of ActiveX as results of their settled lawsuit with Eolas company. This is why you should all switch to Firefox! =)

I almost didn't go to the gaswork park last Tuesday after seeing the "tones of crowds" that walked passed by my house heading there. But since I promised one of my friends, I thought maybe I should just go rather than sitting at home and not doing anything. And yeah, after 15 minutes walking to the park... (and 15 minutes hassling with thousands of people), we managed to reserve a standing spot near the hilltop (as shown). According to TIME magazine,this event is acclaimed as... Top Five Fireworks Displays in the country (source: WaMU). At first, I wasn't really comfortable being in the midst of the crowd. Some of them were really obnoxious and stinks.(Why lah they allow people to drink during this event, the alcohol smell always makes me want to puke). The display starts around 10pm and lasts for about 30 minutes. They were all very entertaining and some of them were floridly choreographed. I embedded one of my recorded clips..

So, if you ask me, ignoring the fact that I have to crunch my way all the way up and down the hill, it was worth walking and hassling to get that spectacular view of the fireworks. (Somehow, it makes up my whole depressing day). It's the whole point of getting out from the house and do something on a holiday anyway. So here are some of the pics taken with people I went with.

Can't really take good pictures of the fireworks so I mainly recorded it. There were so many people on the way back so we decided to stay a lil' bit later since our house isn't that far from the park. And there goes a day of my July 4th.. started monotonously and ended with colors and noises.

Today

2006-07-04T04:24:00.000-07:00

If I'm fearful- If I'm angry- If I'm jealous- If I'm coy- If I feel dependent-the feelings I have are not my problems. My attitudes toward these feelings are my psychological problems.

unknown
source : Zaadz

Am planning to watch some fireworks display later this evening in anticipation of the 4th of July celebrations. I didn't get to do this last year, but I remembered travelling all the way to downtown Seattle with Sarah during our Freshmen year and got stuck in traffic until almost 2 am. But this time, we're going to Gaswork park, it's a popular spot for Fireworks on 4th of July and only 15 minutes away(walking) from my house. It's located on the north shore of Lake Union, and provides an amazing view of Seattle skyline.

Oregon recap.

2006-07-02T04:01:00.000-07:00

As I wrote before, I went to Oregon during my spring interim the other day. So here's a recap of the stuff we did and some slideshows of happy² people.

Oregon is fascinating, with spectacular views of waterfalls and mountains. Though I did felt the roadtrip was somewhat tiring (we spent more or less 20 hours in the car in 3 days), I still appreciate the fact that I get to discharge the pressure that had been afflicting me throughout the last few weeks of my spring quarter. Places of interests that we decided on this time were Mount Hood and Silver Falls . we drove along the Oregon coast for almost 10 hours. Mm, can't really puji the beaches lar cuz I've seen better but oh well, it's acceptable. Put together some slidewhows from the trip. Mix of posed, candids and sceneries. Ohh yeah, and world cup is getting more and more interesting especially after England and Brazil loss today. So.. no more Kaka on field (ohh.. I took the blame, since I just realize how "pondan"ish he ran on field today, whatever, hehe) I have the feelings Germany and France would go to final and that I would need to take a day off from work this wednesday..

The HEAT

2006-06-27T01:25:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in my room @ 1.20 am in the morning cuz I can't sleep. I had to take a 2 hours nap while skipping my architecture class this evening due to the unbearable headache. I started feeling nausea at work and it became worse in my architecture class. So I decided to call it off and got out from the class after 15 minutes pretending that I could understand the lecturer. After 3 tablets of Tylenol, a 2 hours nap and some entertainment from my convivial housemates (thanks to them), I'm all awake now. It might be because of the abrupt changes of the weather. Not that I can't stand the heat, it was my fault for not having my breakfast, lunch and medication until later in the evening.
But whylah it's so panas. I really feel like going out and take a walk for some nighty fresh air. But considering it's not safe to walk alone, especially after(my "kene ikut" nightmare) the other day, I decided not to. Ohh, I know that I should be thankful, but what blogs are for? for me to grumble kan?

My current favourite album:

And my current favorite song from this album:

Sorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.
OVER MY HEAD =)

Tell me what I feel.

2006-06-25T03:24:00.000-07:00

The above picture perfectly represents my current state of mind.. or in other words, feeling and emotion. They are all swirling and howling inside me.. I'm not sure what or why, but it just bothers me to the max. Could it be because of the stuff that I did, am doing or planning to do? I've gone through piles of decisions-making mode these past few days and I was never sure if my decisions were right. NONE of them. But, I was never convinced that they were wrong either. Or could it be just because I'm thinking about nonsense too hard? Perhaps, I'm not realizing that I'm pretending about something? Or.. maybe I'm feeling this way because I just knew someone that I love wants me to hate him? (Is it possible anyway?) Somebody.. could you just give me a handful slap on my face??! I want to wake up tomorrow and just start watching the World cup match without having these feelings. Maybe I should stop dwelling.. or thinking or maybe rumbling in this blog. I know.. nobody who's reading this understand what's going on and what I'm trying to say. Interestingly, neither do I as the writer know what I want from writing this. It's just a chunk of my mind that I figured need to be voiced out tonight. Pathethically, I don't have anyone who would understand the situation that I'm in right now. Maybe that's it.. I need someone to share and understand me.. that is my biggest swirls...

silence..

2006-06-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

I feel necessary to break the silence in my blog today.. hehe. so it's about a month from my previous post. So obviously you can tell I'm bad at blogging or whatsoever. I have lots to say.. but I rather say it to someone.. or to myself then typing it to a blog. Maybe in the futurelah kot.. I'll be better at it. I'm in the middle of summer interim before my summer classes start next week. I spend the last weekend after finals roadtripping with some of my friends to OREGON. Mostly enjoying the scenery (waterfalls and mountains). It was ok.. but somehow I feel we spend too much time in the car. (nama pon roadtrip).

So the tak semangat to start class but I need to take those classes to graduate. Kalau tak, I actually rather go home to Malaysia and spend some time with my family and come back earlier for my "europe de tour" with Sarah. yupp.. EUROPE in the planning.

Just got back my results form last quarter.. and yep. I never satisfied with them but I'm too lazy to care more bout them. As long as I can graduate.. Few stuff happened to me in the last month, I quit my previos job in Health Sciences Library and got a new position in Suzallo library at their Digital Initiative Department. So, no more... desk hours.. don't have to layan annoyed patrons. I have my own cubicals to do my programming stuff and the best part is I can work from home.. as much as I want as long as the work is done. And the pay is a lot better too.. hehe.

One of my friends is getting married this week and another one got engaged last week. And also one of my friend who got married in Perth last month is doing their nasi minyak this week. Why do I have to miss all of these? ishh.. anway, congrates to all of them and I'm really happy for them. May Allah blessings be with you guys forever. =)

Ok.. think that's all for now. Will update later when I have the mood.. as usual. hehe.

The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

2006-05-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by

This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And hidden in the public eye
Such a stellar monument to loneliness
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by...

Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all..or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Urghhh..

2006-03-23T02:54:00.000-08:00

Just bila aku ingat everything is fine, rupa2 nya tak pon!!! memang namanya manusia bernasib malang --> Arina. Aku tau masalah datang and pergi, semua orang pon mcm tu. tapi kenapa masalah yg dtg kat aku jenis yg susah nak dihandle? ke memang aku ni lembik sgt ker ntahlaa.. Kenapa baru sekarang aku tahu aku ni perosak? just beberapa jam ajer. Apa patut aku buat? proceed? call it off? marah? buat x tau? waa.. tertekanlah nih. isk. lebih rela amik 3 finals dr dpt spring break macam ni. dari tahun lepas sampai laaa ke tahun ni.. bulan March memang bulan malang aku. dah aa tarikh pon dedekat.. so dgn ini aku officially declare bulan Mac adalah bulan malang aku. Kenapalah aku agree untuk commit dgn biggest mistake aku ni.. darn, I'm soo stupid. I wish there's an easy way out. hmm..

Spring Break @ Whidbey Island

2006-03-22T03:46:00.000-08:00

I'm back from my spring break jalan2. D'was fun! Whidbey is an awesome place for relaxin' and chillin'. Stunning views of the beaches and the countryside of Washington. We took tonsssss of pictures. A very worthy low-budget fun vacation. Some of the snapshots. ENJOY.

It's March 20th!

2006-03-20T22:44:00.001-08:00

It's March 20th. This date means lottzzzz to me. But I rather keep those happy AND sad memories away for now. Enuf said.

My last final.

2006-03-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

OK, I was awake since 3.30 am and now I'm waiting for the time I can start walking to my last final CSE303(Software Development Tools) @ 8.30am. My intentional plan this morning was to study a lil bit for this final but I ended up watching some random videos that my friends sent until 5.00 am. So basically, I only did 2 hours of studying for this class not including some reviews I made with my tutor. Heck, I just want this to be over so that I can grab some bubble tea on my way back later and have a nice long nap during the day and pack some stuff before heading out to Whidbey Island tomorrow.. hohooo.

9.00 am

2006-03-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply, those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.”

I really don't understand, how can I like something that keeps me awake for a fucking 24 hours for nothing. -burned out-

accident..

2006-03-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

I was one of the bystander that did nothing yesterday when I saw an accident on the ave. An innocent duck was hit by an unknown car.. it was terrible!!! The duck that got hit was lying in the middle of the road while there's another duck, which I believe is it's husband (it's a drake) was trying really hard to push it to the side. Really2 sad.. And after a while, I asked Sarah if the duck that got hit was already dead. And at that very same time, we saw the duck slowly putting it's head on the road. which means it's NOW dead!!whoaa.. A lot of people were standing around the area and there's a guy who kind enough to use a newspaper to wrap the duck and bring it to the sidewalk. The other drake was having it's hard time losing his partner, and trying to peck the feathers of whatever left from the dead duck. Seriously it is really sad to see the duck passed away. What would happen to its partner? May the duck Rest In Peace..

Currently reading...

got this from Aneesa as Valentine present =)

Recent hike..

2006-03-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

OK, this is my recent hiking picture at Mt Si, Northbend, Washington. after loooonggg years of staying here, this is my first time hiking up a mountain fully covered of snow during winter. Of cozlah, it was hard trying to walk in the snow while climbing up the mountain... and I did end up with few bruises. The funniest thing happened to me that day was when an old lady (50ish) was trying to go down while I was climbing up. I know it's hard for her since the snow is all wet and slippery so I moved to the side. Apparently, she lost control and started to slide down in the snow right towards me. I'm lil bit confused if I should help her or stay out of her way but she ended up grabbing my feet. So I had to save myself and hang to the trees for support. shwishh.. I felt like the cartoon characters having their bodies stretched out while hanging to something. Good thing was she didn't slide all the way down which I can imagine the pain and the bruises she can get from it. All in all, it was a good hike and I enjoyed it.

the laziness

2006-03-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

I'm posting this for the sake of not letting my blog without updates for almost a year. Lots of stuff happenin' for the past 9 months but I'm too lazy to write down the journeys here.. After all, nobody really even bother to read this. haha.. but if you do, sorry!!.. IM me n I'll let you know the updates =) You know that I'm good @ being lazy right.. but yeah, will try to update as much as possible especially when I'm super bored without anything to do right now. peace n out.

Super sleeepyy

2005-06-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

I'm soo sleepy..n I can't hardly lift my head. aaahh.. been staying up the whole night packing up all my stuff. I've spend 5 hours packing up, but my staff now is still all over the place. how depressing... i need to motivate maself.. come on arina, few more days to pulau redang.. aah. Ok, need to continue packing.. aah. i need caffeine. Malaysia, ere I come....

sad...

2005-06-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

hurmmmmm... just said my last goodbye to danielle. 'twas sad.. can't believe I'm not gonna see her for the whole year next year.. ouh wait.. didn't i planned to go to costa rica next year? yeah.. I will.. so ppl help me out!! help me to find the cheapest ticket to costa rica aight? hehe. heard so much bout that place.. think it would be fun if I could spend sometime in tropical country with danielle. ouh yeah anyone thinking of joining me..sure one, we can go together2 la.
I found these pics on the web.. menarik la plak.
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I know the view looks alike cam Malaysia. But wouldn't it be fun to be in a another tropical country and see the difference.

Ouh yeah, Danielle also told me a lot bout Galapagos Island in Ecuador, the coolest island in the world as it is famous for a variety of unusual creatures from marine iguanas to blue-footed boobies which could be found there!! not elsewhere. Check out more bout galapagos here.
Check out some exotic animals they have over there. They don't get scared by people at all.. seriously. These are cactus iguana.. blue footed boobie.. hunk iguana and turtle kotak2.. hehe
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YES, as you can see.. I am in the travelling mood a.k.a jalan2 fever.

2005-06-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

me n danielle at snoqualmie falls

Current fav. album
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2005-06-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

lalala.. it's already Friday bebeh. 3 more days b4 i head back to Schweets malaysia. Can't wait!! but that also mean today is my last day to be wif some ppl especially my luvly rumet.. ah, my whole year is just gonna be a total crap w/o her. =) why do you have to go soo far away next year danielle.. why??? haha.. now u can see malaysian gal being all emotional. anyway, hopefully everyone is having a great summer and going to have a happier year ahead..

Finally...

2005-06-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

Ok. been planning to have my own blog waayyyy long agooo but only now that I feel bored enough to start one. hee.. so, can't promise that I'll be updating this as often as some 'blog devotee' lah kan. I've registered with blogger end of 2004, but only now that I feel that I want to make some use of it. Just done with my last final for the Spring quarter!!.. yeehah. I knoe all of them are gonna suck but.. to hell, I dun give a daymn anymore.. hehe. So guess dat's y I'm like awake at 5.34 am starting to create the first entry of my blog that I've signed up for almost a year. Life gonna be pretty hectic these comin' few days as I need to pack up my whole bunch of stuff from the room n put them in a storage. aaa.. just realized, i've only been ere almost 2 years but my stuff as if I've migrated from malaysia to the US. hee.. I need some help!!! cay, long enuf 4 da first entry i guess.. need to sleep or else esok bangun matahari tegak di kepala. not good for pompuan ayu like me.. hahah.

Currently reading..
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