Character

Each of us is meant to have a character all our own,
to be what no other can exactly be,
and do what no other can exactly do.
Unique and vital, I must say..

I was quite taken aback when I found myself in
a set of characteristics that I do not fond of
few weeks ago. That got me into troubles and illness.
Hence, I took a step backward.
Leaving scars and bruises everywhere.
But then, I decided it's not my character to leave
those scars and bruises around.
So I took a different step to try and heal those scars.
which disappointedly had gotten me into a bigger pool of
characters illusion.

Then after all these years that I thought I knew what kind of person
I wanted to be, what characters to hold and settled on...
Now I'm back to square one.

Back to deciding 'should I or shouldn't I' ?
Back to thinking of 'What If' situation..
Back to evaluating 'can I or can't I' do this thing..

Some good friends used to tell me.. I need to change.
I can't be like this forever.. I agreed but I never give in.
Until this special person came along and made me realize how I need to change..
how I had gotten myself into this big problem that I could have cease long time ago.
If only I had listened to all those advices and concerns.. this mud would be easy to swallow.

I'm hoping that it's not too late.. for me to change anything =)

Wait² this blog entry is not suppose to be sad or depressing.
That was what I felt before. But at this moment,
I'm all new and free. My thoughts aren't scribbled with
'what people say or think about me'. like.. I don't care mode..
Anyway, I found this great thoughts of wisdom about character.

It's all about character.
Watch your thoughts;
they become words.
Watch your words;
they become actions.
Watch your actions,
they become habits.
Watch your habits;
they become character.
watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.

-Frank Outlaw