On my side.

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life..." - The Fray


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How to save a life - The Fray

I do.. I really wish I've known how to save a life but of course.. I don't, and I can't. I could try to stay up all night as that shouldn't be a big of a deal, but when I have nothing much to offer, then what is it that you want. Between you and me, it's been empty for quite a while. It took me 6 years to fill it but somehow along the way, it dissipates into something else. I could try.. maybe. I could try to fill it again but that is never a promise.

Life is tough sometimes. There are a zillion decisions to make, and none of them are easy. There are things you want to do but can't, and things you don't want to do but have to. There are good times and hard times, and days you feel like nobody could ever possibly understand what it's like to be you, and you're definitely right... I could be here if you want to forget about life. but not be part of it as ... I do have my own life.

Some people said it should've been easy, I think about it too much when i'm not suppose to. That I could have pretend like it never happened. I could stay away as far as I want to. Some says I'm a selfish bitch without sympathy. And some says it's the feeling of empathy. Or maybe I want to be nice when I'm not.

I shouldn't be too confuse cuz I should know what I want. But what I want will never happen. It's even out of question. So dear myself, give yourself sometime to think. some more time to ponder and wonder what could and had happened. I'm sure I'll come out of it one day, but this shell of mine is still hard to break, is still there for me to be shallow, so please understand... dear friend.

p/S: I'm going to The Fray concert... =) something to look forward for.. next week.